The Girls' Rules
And here comes the second part of the series! enjoy...
PS - If you havent checked Part I yet, here it is: The Guys' Rules
Women Facts and/or Secrets:
1. I am constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I DON"T MEAN IT. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"
2. My body really isn't naturally this hairless and smooth all over. But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it this way.
3. I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
4. I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files.
5. When I say, "I`m ready," I`ll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don`t try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.
6. When I say, "I`ll meet you in 15 minutes," I mean I will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won`t actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
7. I want you to talk a little dirty.
8. I check out your butt every time you leave the room.
9. I need constant indications that you want me around. That`s why it`s better for example, to say " I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask. "What are you up to this weekend?"
10. I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I ` m actually flirting with you-through him.
11. Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me.
12. When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.
13. I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.
14. I have Googled your exes.
15. At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly.
16. I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful career, I'm financially independent, I live on my own, and I don't need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me up, carry me to the bedroom, and take me without asking.
17. I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.
18. I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave: just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down" unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't.
19. When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you. Exaggeration but you get the point.
20. You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.
21. I obsess about when you're going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don't send me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.
22. I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs to prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. However, this sometimes backfires when I get a lil tipsy or carried away.
23. My bestfriend knows too much... from the size to God knows what.
24. We know more than you think.
25. Sometimes we lie about our periods. However, be very careful with your suspicions. One day it could back fire.
26. Many times we push you away... to see how much you want to come forward.
PS - If you havent checked Part I yet, here it is: The Guys' Rules
Women Facts and/or Secrets:
1. I am constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I DON"T MEAN IT. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"
2. My body really isn't naturally this hairless and smooth all over. But I will never allow you to see any indication whatsoever of all the shaving, tweezing, waxing, exfoliating, and moisturizing that gets it this way.
3. I fantasized about being with you at least a dozen times before we actually first got naked.
4. I only appear to have it all together. My true organization (or lack thereof) is revealed in my closet, my makeup bag, my desk files.
5. When I say, "I`m ready," I`ll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don`t try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes.
6. When I say, "I`ll meet you in 15 minutes," I mean I will leave in 15 minutes, and thus won`t actually arrive for at least 30 (but probably more like 40).
7. I want you to talk a little dirty.
8. I check out your butt every time you leave the room.
9. I need constant indications that you want me around. That`s why it`s better for example, to say " I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask. "What are you up to this weekend?"
10. I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I ` m actually flirting with you-through him.
11. Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me.
12. When I'm falling in love with you, I completely lose my appetite.
13. I'll never tell you exactly how many men I've slept with. No matter how sincere I appeared when I answered your question, chances are I wasn't. As an unscientific guideline, when a woman says she's slept with four men, the real number is actually closer to seven. Her fib is partly intentional (she doesn't want to appear a floozy), but mostly it's sexual amnesia. When a woman wants to pretend an encounter never occurred, she simply scraps the man from her official score sheet. Common excuses that lead to such an omission: The actual sex lasted only a few thrusts; or she was drunk or on the rebound.
14. I have Googled your exes.
15. At the beginning of our relationship, I save all of your voice mails and listen to them (and make my friends listen, too), repeatedly.
16. I want you to take control in bed. Yes, I have a successful career, I'm financially independent, I live on my own, and I don't need a man to make me happy (in theory). I still want you to pick me up, carry me to the bedroom, and take me without asking.
17. I split the cost of my fashion purchases over two or more credit cards, so you don't notice the gargantuan deficit.
18. I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave: just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down" unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't.
19. When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you. Exaggeration but you get the point.
20. You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.
21. I obsess about when you're going to call me again. The period of time between our first date and your "Thanks for a great night; when can I see you again?" always seems stretched into slow motion. So don't worry about looking too eager. Call. Even if you only wait until noon the day after, it will feel like a lifetime to me. And don't send me an e-mail unless you want me to put you in the figurative trash can along with your message.
22. I might wear granny underwear and purposely not shave my legs to prevent myself from getting naked with you too soon. However, this sometimes backfires when I get a lil tipsy or carried away.
23. My bestfriend knows too much... from the size to God knows what.
24. We know more than you think.
25. Sometimes we lie about our periods. However, be very careful with your suspicions. One day it could back fire.
26. Many times we push you away... to see how much you want to come forward.
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